People call me “Kathleen”. If you ask me about any anectode to explain the history of my name, I guess I have nothing alluring to tell. I caught glimpse of the world on the 30th of December 1993. I shattered the defeaning silence of the hospital’s delivery room with my incessant crying, as though announcing my arrival in this world amidst the cacophony of delivery room forceps and the slow hum of the nurses’ hurried activities.
My mother, Cristina works as a midwife. . I don’t exactly know how she does it, but it always amazes me how she could manage her time so well—with us and the entire barangay to take care of simultaneously.
My father, Lino, works as a seaman and understandably, we only see each other once in a year. That would only last for about a couple months so my mother did the Herculean job of rearing the five of us alone.
While girls my age spend time with cell phones and making babies, I spend mine watching series of movies. The genres I prefer involve scenes with tortures, massacres, and massive bloodshed. And take note, I also love memorizing movie punch lines—especially those from the antagonist. I find it too boring and ordinary to patronize the “bida”. I find them pathetic and indulgent. The antagonist strikes me as someone with thrill, aura of mystery, and bloody excitement. Bwahahaha…I so love their laughter!
I also hate pets as much as I loathed pimples. I find them of great disadvantage to me, especially if taking care of them meant I have to waste a great deal of my precious time. I picture canines as nothing but excellent sources of rabies virus. I find cats very messy too. I hate the way they leave their excretas everywhere, and when you happen to have a contact with it, congratulations to you! You now have the ever dreaded disease, Toxoplasmosis. In addition to that, cats seemed too noisy whenever they’re having an intercourse with their fellow cats, as if broadcasting their love affairs to the entire Cat Community.
I love reading novels and paperbacks even though my mother hates it with all her heart. If you happen to learn that I’ve already stayed inside the CR for about an hour already, you now have the right to be suspicious. If you must know, I consider the CR as my perfect hideout. I labeled it as the only place I deemed safe enough to read my beloved pocketbooks for it keeps my mom from easy access of these books.
I love to dress up, use make-ups and wear stilettos. I go crazy over accessories and nail polish too. Sad thing, though, the last time I painted my nails, I got a major scolding from my mom. She gave me an hour-long lecture about how nail polish contains chemicals that could absorb in the blood and could cause cancer someday-- blah, blah, blah.
Martes, Agosto 16, 2011
Huwebes, Agosto 11, 2011
GENDER DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION
Men and women are opposite poles. And yes, like magnets, they also attract each other. Ironically, this ‘difference’ that drew them together is also the exact same element that can create conflict and inflict havoc upon the relationship. One of the big challenges that poses a threat to the smoothness of any relationship is a person’s ability to communicate.
Communication is an art that needs a delicate balancing. There should be an equilibrium between verbal and nonverbal messages. Men by nature are more of thinkers than talkers. When a problem arises, they tend to be task-oriented and less responsive in communication. When they say that they want to think first before saying anything, they really mean it. That’s why they find it irritating when women lash everything out on them, demanding to talk right away. On the other hand, when a woman says that she needs some space to think, she doesn’t really want to be left alone. She wants to be given attention or to be pursued. That’s why she easily gets furious when a guy quits wooing her. The problem becomes bigger and bigger. The root cause? Communication gap.
Men also tend to be honest to the point of bluntness. While women are endowed with supreme prowess with words, men are rather precise and explicit. That’s why they’re oftentimes guilty of giving monosyllabic responses. For them, the equation is simple: black is black and white is white. Women, however, love speaking in riddles. They’re huge fans of figures of speech and hyperbole is one of their all-time favorites. In short, they find this equation amusing: “When I say black, it’s actually white. I’m not gonna give you the clues. It’s up to you to find out.”
Who says that infidelity is the main cause of increase in divorce rates? Men and women are created differently. God intended this difference not to make them become like cats and dogs, North Korea and South Korea, Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden, Tom and Jerry, Dallas and Miami, so on and so forth...Their uniqueness from each other is suppose to create an aura of mystique that will attract them to each other. He gave them opposite attributes because He wants them to complement each other as partners.
Because of this, both genders should place high importance on healthy communication patterns. A good communicator knows when to talk and when to shut up. The problem with us is the fact that when we hear the word “communication”, we immediately nurse a picture of ourselves talking and talking and talking. What we omitted in the scene is the fact that psychiatrists gave emphasis on silence as one of most helpful elements of therapeutic communication. So the next time that you want to open your mouth, remember that God gave us two ears and one mouth because He wants us to listen twice as much as we talk.
Transparency is the key to resolve communication problems. The day we get past the level of cliché conversations and move on to honest discussions of our feelings is the day we would finally attain a more stable, refreshing, and dynamically secure relationship.
At the end of the day, what matters most is not what we said, but how we said it.
Communication is an art that needs a delicate balancing. There should be an equilibrium between verbal and nonverbal messages. Men by nature are more of thinkers than talkers. When a problem arises, they tend to be task-oriented and less responsive in communication. When they say that they want to think first before saying anything, they really mean it. That’s why they find it irritating when women lash everything out on them, demanding to talk right away. On the other hand, when a woman says that she needs some space to think, she doesn’t really want to be left alone. She wants to be given attention or to be pursued. That’s why she easily gets furious when a guy quits wooing her. The problem becomes bigger and bigger. The root cause? Communication gap.
Men also tend to be honest to the point of bluntness. While women are endowed with supreme prowess with words, men are rather precise and explicit. That’s why they’re oftentimes guilty of giving monosyllabic responses. For them, the equation is simple: black is black and white is white. Women, however, love speaking in riddles. They’re huge fans of figures of speech and hyperbole is one of their all-time favorites. In short, they find this equation amusing: “When I say black, it’s actually white. I’m not gonna give you the clues. It’s up to you to find out.”
Who says that infidelity is the main cause of increase in divorce rates? Men and women are created differently. God intended this difference not to make them become like cats and dogs, North Korea and South Korea, Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden, Tom and Jerry, Dallas and Miami, so on and so forth...Their uniqueness from each other is suppose to create an aura of mystique that will attract them to each other. He gave them opposite attributes because He wants them to complement each other as partners.
Because of this, both genders should place high importance on healthy communication patterns. A good communicator knows when to talk and when to shut up. The problem with us is the fact that when we hear the word “communication”, we immediately nurse a picture of ourselves talking and talking and talking. What we omitted in the scene is the fact that psychiatrists gave emphasis on silence as one of most helpful elements of therapeutic communication. So the next time that you want to open your mouth, remember that God gave us two ears and one mouth because He wants us to listen twice as much as we talk.
Transparency is the key to resolve communication problems. The day we get past the level of cliché conversations and move on to honest discussions of our feelings is the day we would finally attain a more stable, refreshing, and dynamically secure relationship.
At the end of the day, what matters most is not what we said, but how we said it.
Huwebes, Hulyo 28, 2011
Speaker vs. Listener!
The question is as complicated as which really came first: the chicken, or the egg?
Endless debates can cloud your mind but if you would thoroughly mandate it, the speaker is ineffective without the listener. Likewise, the listener to the speaker. The important point for being the speaker is that he/ she is responsible for an effective communication and that the main objective is to regulate the conversation making sure that his/ her listeners are in tact that the messages the speaker is trying to convey is delivered well. The listener on the other hand, depending on his/ her attitude whether or not he/ she is willing to listen or not. You see, being a listener is a much harder job. There can be so many barriers relating to a good listener or a dull one.
Therefore, whether being the speaker or the listener, it all depends on being sensitive with what we say or do. We should be able to analyze what the other says before we react.
Endless debates can cloud your mind but if you would thoroughly mandate it, the speaker is ineffective without the listener. Likewise, the listener to the speaker. The important point for being the speaker is that he/ she is responsible for an effective communication and that the main objective is to regulate the conversation making sure that his/ her listeners are in tact that the messages the speaker is trying to convey is delivered well. The listener on the other hand, depending on his/ her attitude whether or not he/ she is willing to listen or not. You see, being a listener is a much harder job. There can be so many barriers relating to a good listener or a dull one.
Therefore, whether being the speaker or the listener, it all depends on being sensitive with what we say or do. We should be able to analyze what the other says before we react.
Huwebes, Hulyo 14, 2011
what does it contain?
When I was a kid it was my dream to marry a handsome and a perfect guy. So in order to attain it, I must be beautiful. Later then I realized that outer beauty was not so important to make someone good. It is not important how you look; what matter most is your inner beauty.
What we see outside will later on fade away. Our media today bombards us with lies regarding true beauty. Like a tyrant whose voice booms mightily behind a podium, the world likewise seems to dictate that we need to be like this and that to be considered beautiful. Our television sets graces women who are flawless, fair, and with slender bodies. These women were hailed by many as “beautiful”. Consequently, at a very tender age, images of these women were instilled into our young minds. They distorted the real meaning of beauty and gave us the wrong definition of it. This gave birth to feelings of inadequacy and mediocrity among young women today. It fosters an atmosphere of insecurity, making women strive harder to attain this world’s standard of ‘beauty.’ It made women clamor for something that is less important and neglect the need of nurturing a positive self-concept; the strengthening of values and ideals—things which are more important in life.
The beauty looked at with eyes doesn't last forever. Instead of concentrating on outer beauty, we should concentrate on inner beauty. Inner beauty is seen in a woman whose face is radiant because of genuine happiness. It can be observed in women whose eyes are sparkling because they were able to find something beautiful even behind the harrowing storms that overcame them. True beauty is exemplified in a woman’s contagious smile as she extends her hands to those who are in need. Authentic beauty stems from the heart; a heart full of joy, compassion, unselfish love, contentment, and peace.
If you want to know if you’re really beautiful, examine your heart. What does it contain?
What we see outside will later on fade away. Our media today bombards us with lies regarding true beauty. Like a tyrant whose voice booms mightily behind a podium, the world likewise seems to dictate that we need to be like this and that to be considered beautiful. Our television sets graces women who are flawless, fair, and with slender bodies. These women were hailed by many as “beautiful”. Consequently, at a very tender age, images of these women were instilled into our young minds. They distorted the real meaning of beauty and gave us the wrong definition of it. This gave birth to feelings of inadequacy and mediocrity among young women today. It fosters an atmosphere of insecurity, making women strive harder to attain this world’s standard of ‘beauty.’ It made women clamor for something that is less important and neglect the need of nurturing a positive self-concept; the strengthening of values and ideals—things which are more important in life.
The beauty looked at with eyes doesn't last forever. Instead of concentrating on outer beauty, we should concentrate on inner beauty. Inner beauty is seen in a woman whose face is radiant because of genuine happiness. It can be observed in women whose eyes are sparkling because they were able to find something beautiful even behind the harrowing storms that overcame them. True beauty is exemplified in a woman’s contagious smile as she extends her hands to those who are in need. Authentic beauty stems from the heart; a heart full of joy, compassion, unselfish love, contentment, and peace.
If you want to know if you’re really beautiful, examine your heart. What does it contain?
Beyond the surface (Susan Boyle)
What happened to Susan Boyle was a painful picture of how judgmental people can become. Human as we are, we can’t help but measure an individual’s worth by simply looking at his personal assets. It may sound sinister but it’s a truth that we can no longer pretend to ignore. We were born with a natural inclination to scrutinize, criticize, evaluate, assess, compare, and compete. These natural tendencies weren’t actually wrong in themselves per se. It’s a matter of how we use these things in our daily lives.
The oft-quoted saying “There’s more to a person than what meets the eye” is tagged as old-fashioned and even as an overused cliché. However, there’s a big chunk of truth in it. Too often we label people in just a fraction of a second basing from what we see. We survey people from head to toe and from what we see, we draw conclusions as to whether this person is worth our time and attention. The ugly thing about this is we misjudge people most of the time. We assume things. The dangerous part comes when we act in accordance to what we think. Once our thoughts are poisoned with presumptions that are far from the truth, it will begin to distort reality. It would then give birth to conflicts and chaos.
Do you know why Titanic sank as early as its maiden voyage? It’s because the captain underestimated the size of the iceberg. He saw the iceberg only as a small piece of ice floating harmlessly in the midst of the ocean. To him, its size is nothing compared to his huge ship that ‘even God cannot sink’. Superficial people think superficially. They fail to look beyond the surface and discover that there’s something more than what they see externally. When the collision happened, they were caught off-guard. Lives were lost. See how dangerous underestimation can be?
I hope people will learn from all of these. Behind these varied circumstances, there’s a small, obsolete, too-often-for-granted piece of lesson. Nobody has the right to judge others harshly and impulsively.
The oft-quoted saying “There’s more to a person than what meets the eye” is tagged as old-fashioned and even as an overused cliché. However, there’s a big chunk of truth in it. Too often we label people in just a fraction of a second basing from what we see. We survey people from head to toe and from what we see, we draw conclusions as to whether this person is worth our time and attention. The ugly thing about this is we misjudge people most of the time. We assume things. The dangerous part comes when we act in accordance to what we think. Once our thoughts are poisoned with presumptions that are far from the truth, it will begin to distort reality. It would then give birth to conflicts and chaos.
Do you know why Titanic sank as early as its maiden voyage? It’s because the captain underestimated the size of the iceberg. He saw the iceberg only as a small piece of ice floating harmlessly in the midst of the ocean. To him, its size is nothing compared to his huge ship that ‘even God cannot sink’. Superficial people think superficially. They fail to look beyond the surface and discover that there’s something more than what they see externally. When the collision happened, they were caught off-guard. Lives were lost. See how dangerous underestimation can be?
I hope people will learn from all of these. Behind these varied circumstances, there’s a small, obsolete, too-often-for-granted piece of lesson. Nobody has the right to judge others harshly and impulsively.
Huwebes, Hunyo 30, 2011
Living in Equality
People think sometimes that they are more superior than others. They treat other people without respect, but the fact is that we are all humans. God created us equally and we belong to the same species. Nobody is perfect. we all have our imperfections, strengths and weaknesses in life.
We all have our differences which somehow make us unique from each other. That is why it is not good to bring others down because the bible says, "Those who humble themselves will be exalted, and those who exalt themselves will be humbled." that's why we need to see ourselves the way God sees us. We are wonderful in his sight. he loves and values us even if we are sinners. To avoid ethnocentrism, we should respect and appreciate each other's culture and tradition. Instead of bringing them down, let's give them the freedom to enjoy their own lives.
If we want this world to be progressive and united, then let's all live in harmony. Forget about the insecurities. Be who we are. Respect each other, no matter how different our culture, ethnicity, nationality, complexion or race are. After all, life is useless if we do not know how to appreciate the simplest things around us.
We all have our differences which somehow make us unique from each other. That is why it is not good to bring others down because the bible says, "Those who humble themselves will be exalted, and those who exalt themselves will be humbled." that's why we need to see ourselves the way God sees us. We are wonderful in his sight. he loves and values us even if we are sinners. To avoid ethnocentrism, we should respect and appreciate each other's culture and tradition. Instead of bringing them down, let's give them the freedom to enjoy their own lives.
If we want this world to be progressive and united, then let's all live in harmony. Forget about the insecurities. Be who we are. Respect each other, no matter how different our culture, ethnicity, nationality, complexion or race are. After all, life is useless if we do not know how to appreciate the simplest things around us.
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